On the last night of our younger son’s visit, we went to a local restaurant with a sea view. Not that one could see the sea, it being dark. The sea is often quite hard to see after dark, because it is lit only by the moon. Sans moon, it looks like a black expanse. Sometimes you can hear it, even if you can’t see it.

In any case, we ate in the upstairs grill area, which has a better view–except we couldn’t see much, see above–and also a less expensive, grill-style menu. Our son ordered a cheeseburger, and when it arrived he took one look and said, with a sigh of resignation, I forgot to say No American cheese. 

Me: American cheese! They don’t serve American cheese here.

Him: Are you sure? It’s very common in New Jersey.

Me, to the waitress: Is this American cheese?

Waitress: Cheddar. We don’t serve American cheese here.

To one who grew up with sandwiches made using the plastic-enclosed Kraft single squares, American cheese is not real cheese. Though I didn’t know that when I was growing up. I didn’t really develop a palate until I was old enough to afford to eat out, but once I had one, I knew American cheese did not taste like real cheese.  I also remember my first experience of real mayonnaise, as opposed to Miracle Whip Salad Dressing. Ooh la la.

I think our family ate this sort of processed food because it was the Latest Thing. My mother was 18 when I was born, and very eager to be part of the new science (marketing?) trends engulfing our world. Processed food! Baby formula! Later there would be TV dinners, then Hamburger Helper, then fast food restaurants. Along with kitchen appliances, these made life much easier for the Busy, Modern homemaker.

Whence American cheese? Happily, my Wikipedia subscription is paid up.

Way back when, cheese from America was called American cheese in other countries. Today’s version was invented by James L. Kraft in the early 1900s, and has a legal definition in America: a specific type of pasteurized, processed cheese made from at least two types of cheese, using a manufacturing process that differs from that of natural cheeses. If made of two cheeses only, it can be labeled “processed cheese.” If it includes dairy, it has to be labeled “cheese food.”

I have encountered sliceable blocks of American cheese in grocery store delis, so I was not surprised to learn that a wide variety of additives and emulsification methods yield a wide range of products. None is a natural cheese, though.

I also learned why the individually-wrapped “slices” taste the worst: they aren’t slices at all. Instead, slabs of processed cheese are formed from a viscous processed cheese which solidifies between the wrapping medium. Yum.

Maybe American cheese goes well with Bud Light and Wonder Bread White Hamburger Buns. Is this elitist? If so, why? Real cheese, beer, and bread just taste better.