When I was young and immersed in the mating game, my female friends group referred to a man who “got” women as an Evolved Form. This being multiple decades ago and mostly a cis group, our ideal man was definitely masculine and willing to treat us like princesses, yet occasionally self-effacing and able to back down. He preferred his women smart and capable. He wouldn’t take No for an answer right away–Game Over first round? Where’s the sport in that?–but he would be tempting, not scary-insistent. And the question being answered back then was more likely to be related to going out than hooking up. Libido hasn’t changed, but mores have.

When the Evolved Form man ogled you, it was subtle. Ogling women is not really a choice for men, evolved or not; it is hard-wired. Cf. The Male Brain, written by a woman. Unbelievable men get any work done at all, much less run the world.

In retrospect, an Evolved Form is someone whose behavior is based on observation and informed by empathy.

Imagine a doctor who recommends the fish-heavy Mediterranean diet to a patient. Fishing is already unsustainable, and farmed fish turn out to damage the environment as much as overfishing. There is no way humans can extract enough fish for everyone on the planet to enjoy that healthful diet.

Should the MD consider only the patient when making a recommendation? A doctor who takes the entire planet into consideration would be a Super-Evolved Form. Also unemployed.

Whether due to the environmental movement, moving to California, the stark choices of the America First era, or some other factors, my own perceptions have evolved recently. The world seems like an intricate puzzle, with every flock of sanderlings or grove of Eucalyptus a key piece. The pieces are being scattered by humans, who are simply too numerous to fit in with the natural world. Who knew hunting all those blue whales in the 20th century would affect climate change, or that wolves were maintaining water quality in Yellowstone?

I want someone to take the decisions away from me. People are clearing the rain forest to sell us palm oil. Why is it even in the store? I didn’t know!

If we tried to consider the whole planet for every decision, we’d all be neurotic, guilt-ridden, or defiant. I don’t think most people are doing that though. There must be some other reason we’re all neurotic, guilt-ridden, or defiant. Maybe the struggle of evolving, or of refusing to.