I listened to a podcast about endocrine disrupters today, and my summary is: No Hope. I think this is it for me as far as the health beat goes–time to chuck it.

I usually do some fact checking for my blog but today I am going with memory because I really don’t want to know more about this. The expert spoke a lot about bisphenol A, aka BPA. It is a lab-created product, by which she meant not hydrocarbon-based, which she implied was rare. So when we run out of hydrocarbons, we won’t lack just energy sources and plastics, we will also lack some meds. Because BPA is an estrogen replacement.

Estrogen is a hormone. But while the scientists were checking out their new discovery, they realized, Hey, this stuff makes a great plastic bottle! Chemistry is weird.

Our sons had exposure to BPA, because those bottles were so cute and colorful and convenient! “They” wouldn’t make baby bottles that harm babies here in America, right? That’s a third-world thing.

Between the time we were poisoning our sons and now, FDA did ban certain levels of BPA, but not down to zero. The problem is, hormones affect the systems of our bodies, and they do so at very small doses, measured in micrograms. To create a microgram,

• Start with a tablespoon, which is half an ounce.
• Divide that into 14 parts, each of which is a gram. I know, it’s hard, take your time.
• Divide each gram into 1000 parts, each of which is a milligram. This may take most of the afternoon.
• Challenge level: Divide each milligram into 1000 parts, each of which is a microgram.

It’s a small amount.

While the evidence mounted against BPA–Does it cause cancer? Developmental delays? Appendages to drop off?–ordinary humans noticed, and started to vote with their pocketbooks for non-BPA products, sending industry scientists back into the lab. Like smart, schedule-pressured engineers everywhere, they decided not to re-invent the wheel, and found bisphenol S, which worked just as well.

A few years later, you will be shocked to hear, BPS was found to cause similar problems. It also has a useful marketing property: The label “BPA Free!” can be emblazoned on items containing it.

Science discovers something, we use it everywhere, we find out it hurts us, scientists replace it with something else. Rinse and repeat.

BPA and BPS are far from the only things to worry about, although they are pretty ubiquitous still–lining almost all vegetable cans, for instance. Any personal product with a scent has some sort of chemical that extends its duration as well as melts our brains, or something. Good news for the wealthy: Safe products are available, for about four times the cost of common brands such as Revlon.

Another rule: If the label doesn’t promise No Bad Ingredients, then there are some.

Most of the threats, however are inside our homes. Unless everything you own is made from fabrics and wood untreated by any modern method, all of it is outgassing. For those of you who don’t live beside a superhighway, moving ten feet from the breakfast nook onto the patio will reduce your exposure to toxins 100 times.

So happy I can get Wifi out here.