I am pretty unhappy about the primary results, and bolstering myself for what I see as the inevitable Trump victory in 2020. I am doing this is a positive way. I’ve decided to make each day count for what it can, enjoying my small victories and pleasures where I find them. I’ve resigned myself to the likelihood that I will have to continue working for the rest of my life, while realizing that I am lucky to be able to work with people I like, and to not have to worried about not having a place to live. I’m redoubling my efforts to do something I like to do anyway, which is to focus on my health, which will both enable me to work and reduce my spending. I’m really going to push myself to enjoy the natural beauty of this great State, which is for the most part free and certainly mood-enhancing.

I was thinking about this during the run-up to Super Tuesday so I mentioned some of these resolutions to the friends we saw this weekend in NJ. The woman was very supportive, and felt I had just the right attitude, making the best of what is likely to be hard times ahead. Trump or no, no one in the US thinks we will regain the equality of the fifties, or more unequal but not extreme inequality of the 1990s.

The man, although understanding, felt that my resignation to a Trump re-election could have the effect of making it happen. I have a lot of respect for this person, but I am having trouble working that out. Certainly I don’t feel like an influencer of any. I’m not sure how much I influence my own family! However, I think he may have meant that a groundswell of people like me, people who give up on societal gains and just try to do what we can with our lot, could make that no one is pushing for a more just society.

This is a true point. My main goal from here on is to completely ignore the presidential race. California will vote Democratic, so I don’t even have to vote, at least not at the top of the ballot. Clearly the people have decide on something short of reaching for the sky, and who am I to rebuke them? On the other hand, if no one reaches for the sky, we will surely dwell forever on the ground.

My husband thinks I’m overreacting, that maybe Bernie could still get the nomination. I’m just too tired of waiting for Democrats-the Committee, the lawmakers, the citizen–to do something bold. Everyone else seems to be hedging bets, playing it safe, trying to keep the boat level.

Just like they did in 2016. Hillary had to win, right? She was the only adult in the race, certainly the only person who was going to take care of the boat at all. Trump kicked a hole in the boat, wore it as a hat, then sold it overseas. It you can’t get good health care, or afford an education that leads to a job, or stop working as you age, you might as well be entertained by the antics of a paradigm-exploder.