Fire season is winding down, and the unemployment office is getting a bit prickly about the intensity of my job search, so I’m starting work in the health and beauty section of Whole Foods tomorrow. This job is part time, but I’m going to quit drawing benefits, because being part time is my choice. I put in two applications, at a school and a store, got two interviews, and canceled the second because I got the first job, which starts later in the morning and is closer to home.

My husband continues to encourage me to retire early, and sometimes I wonder why I am still taking these small jobs. Ostensibly to pay for health insurance, but honestly, I’ve been working since I was sixteen, so maybe it’s just a habit, or even an addiction. I’m hardly a workaholic–I didn’t apply for the full time job with benefits at WF–but work seems to be something I need to do. Maybe I’m just a bourgeoisie at heart, though these jobs are on the proletarian side.

I’ve read that human habits are similar to addiction in that we form them quickly and lose them with difficulty. To get yourself to the gym regularly, one influencer recommends dressing out and driving to the gym on a regular schedule for a couple of weeks, without staying to exercise; she claims that by the end of that time period, your body will crave the trip, and at some point it will occur to you that since you in workout togs at the gym, you may as well go in.

My recent work history is too variable to be habit-forming, though I have added some neuronal paths. For the CalFire catering job, for instance, I have a driving route on auto-pilot, a regular outdoor spot where I eat lunch and read, and a fierce loyalty to my crewmates, though I will likely never see any of them again after this week. For some folks, eighteen months of pandemic was habit-forming, but I had an in-person job the whole time, was able to keep my outdoor exercise routine, and never developed an interest in baked goods.

I did develop an aversion to screens. I’m joining the anti-QR code menu movement. The main thing I want from a restaurant now is time away from my phone.