I just spent 20 minutes trying to buy tickets on Eventbright and I got so tired I decided to stop and write this instead. The event is some goofy little thing in a largish city park where are you drive through a 15-mile route and view Christmas lights. I guess maybe they’re sort of animated; an exploding volcano is mentioned. I guess there are some sort of special effects; special glasses are mentioned. I guess it’s very popular, because it was hard to find a time during which a ticket for my size of car, a regular passenger car, was available.

Each of the snags was picayune, yet they continued to pile up, perhaps like the light lava from that volcano. The first page came up with available times on today’s date only. So I picked another date and chose a time, only to discover that nothing is available for my car size. So I started at the top again, and again, experimenting with dates and times to try to spiral into one that has available tickets.

Is this an example of the time-saving convenience of ordering online, or just slovenly programing which we have come to accept? A site doing such a poor job should go out of business, but Eventbrite has become ubiquitous.

Finally I found an available slot that was not ideal, but livable. This led to the reveal that the price for these tickets is slightly more than their face value because there’s an extra fee. I don’t expect Eventbright to do this for free, but it sure would be nice if the price was just the price, with all that stuff included. Actors and janitors are paid also, but I don’t have to get involved.

Next I had the option of buying special glasses, although still no hints about what the glasses do for you, so I passed, on the principle that if you want me to buy something, you need to tell me why. I think I’m old school.

After that, I had to agree to a list of statements that are not true, such as, Do you agree that you have received the special directions to the event? –which I need because they are not accessible using a standard navigator and these tickets are non-refundable. But I didn’t have those directions at that time, since I was still buying the ticket.

Even so I proceeded to the next reveal, which was that two pairs of glasses are included with my ticket but I can buy more when I arrive. We were planning on bringing four people and I had started to get the idea that the glasses are necessary, but still no exclamation of why and no idea about how much this might cost.

How much could they be? It’s not the point. It’s the disrespect, requiring people to commit to undefined purchases for undefined reasons, using a website designed by someone who never heard of ergonomics.

I’ve been forced to use Eventbright before to see something I really wanted to see, and it has never been a good experience. But Ticketmaster is much, much worse. Their fees are not to be scoffed at; since the government passed the law forcing them to reveal the fees, I have found them to be around 30% of the ticket price.

Like everyone else, I’ve become accustomed to being able to buy things while sitting on my duff at home, but it’s so irritating I would almost rather go somewhere. When I get a chance to go to a box office, or even call one, it’s so nice to talk to someone who can explain the features of the different seating locations, and there’s rarely an extra fee. Recently I’ve bought several gifts in stores and I’m certain I ended up with different choices than I would have after looking at pictures online, because someone was supplying me with useful information.

I’m sure this seems like a petty rant, because it is. Instead of staring at a screen, parsing the little boxes, guessing at the meaning of the myriad symbols, and working on my carpal tunnel syndrome, I feel like I should just go walk by the ocean.

So I think I will do that. It’s much more impressive than a light volcano anyway.