We first noticed a handful of tiny ants in the kitchen one morning about ten days ago, and we wiped them up. These were very tiny ants, ants that just crumple into pieces with a swipe of a sponge. It was a little annoying, but not a Big Deal.

That was a classic case of thinking you know what you are doing when you don’t. The first ants were scouts, and the masses followed. As it happened, the first morning of my husband’s recent business trip was the day I awoke to hundreds of ants in the kitchen. Really, it was quite a shocking number of ants.

Disposal of those ants took a while, and was not the most fun thing I ever did before breakfast. Afterward, I Sought Knowledge, and to so, I used email and Google. I learned that ant invasions are a common winter phenomenon in California, and that I had plenty of ant-fighting substances already on hand, including vinegar, baby powder, and peppermint soap.

A commenter on one site noted that these safe-seeming substances kill the ants quite viciously, describing their painful, torturous deaths in some detail. I had thought of myself as a tree-hugger, but now I am exposed as the dominant predator I was born to be. I want all the ants in my house to die, and soon. If ants want to live, they can stay outside.

As with everything in my life except the recent election, I feel this could have been much worse. The ant problem has almost disappeared, though our vigilance remains high.

Most of my life happened in the pre-Internet era–it’s true, kids–yet the Internet is now my primary source for work, shopping, banking, email, simple fact checking, and blogging. Yet I would fundamentally characterize it as a vast repository and disseminator of mostly false information. Well, maybe mostly pornography, but a lot of false information, including information that has been created to mislead a targeted group.

At its inception, many predicted the Internet would make the world more connected in a positive, generous, post-racial, Teach-the-World-to-Sing sort of way, and would spread democracy and freedom. Instead it increases the reach of hate groups, spreads misinformation and greed, and provides how-tos for would-be criminals and terrorists. As quickly as I can learn to create ant genocide, someone else can learn, well, use your imagination. It’s a lot scarier than ants in the kitchen.